From BG to TC: Adventures in the Mitten: "The Game" of Life

8.12.13

"The Game" of Life

"The Game".

Everyone in Ohio knows what game that phrase refers to: You are either Scarlet/Gray or Maize/Blue- a Buckeye or a Wolverine. There is no in-between. There is no indifference. If you live in Ohio (or Michigan), you have a team, even if it is just for "The Game", and you have bitter rivalries and disputes with all of your friends about it. That's just how it goes around here.

And that is a war that belongs in history books across America.

Needless to say, making the decision to move to "The Mitten" has ruffled quite a few feathers within my family unit. Not just from a football perspective, but because "their baby" is leaving the area forever. And before Christmas, no less.

This massive life upset is going to be chronicled in this blog. I'm going to use it as an outlet for my fears, a shelf for my achievements, and a diary for my thoughts.

My name is Jess. I'm a Buckeye by birth. A Wolverine by choice. And happy at last.

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The (Constantly Updated) List Of Things That I'm OCD About: (50 So Far)

-Cross Contamination

--Have to roll bag end down to safely insert into bag.

--Wash outside of bag if I even think there are germs on it.

--Have to wash hands between every step of cooking/packaging.

--Have to wash hands at LEAST twice after finished handling.

--Lysol every surface that comes in contact with meat.

--When handling, everything that isn't the meat must remain at least 6 inches away from the meat, although a 12 inches is preferred.

--If someone doesn't wash hands twice with soap after handling, I get bothered deeply.

--If someone doesn't use soap when washing hands after handling, I freak out on them and avoid everything they touch.

--Meat has to be frozen in Ziploc bag. No other type of wrap (like plastic or foil).

--When shopping for meat, meat MUST be in at LEAST one plastic "roll" bag. Meat cannot share a bag even if it is the same type/cut of meat.

--I WILL throw away any food that touches a "meat bag" that might have meat germs on it.

--Meat in the fridge that is thawing must be in a plastic wrapped bowl on the bottom shelf (preferred for chicken) or in a Ziploc bag on a paper plate on bottom shelf (preferred for beef).

--Meat in the fridge that is "fresh" has to be in its original container/foam package, with the plastic bag around it.

--Grocery bags that come into contact with meat are thrown out immediately.

--I WILL NOT TOUCH THE SINK HANDLES WITH MEATY HANDS. EVER. If I do, I have to wash my hands twice, Lysol the handle, then wash my hands again.

--Sometimes it gets to the point, where I Lysol everything in the kitchen... not just the things that touch meat.

--Immediately wash whatever came in contact with meat (bowls, knives, etc)

-Numbers

--5's and 10's are preferred above all else.

--2's, 4's, 7's are preferred next.

--3's, 6's, 9's are lovely because they are divisible by 3.

--1's are okay.

--Avoid 8's at all cost. They make me nervous.

--37, 42, 7, 5 are the best numbers, in order.

--Everything needs to be arranged numerically, or backwards numerically.

--Things ending in 00 are preferred when shopping (such as a box of candy for "1.00")

--.99 items are okay, but I refuse to have something ending in .01.

-Alphabet

--S's are my favorite.

--R's are a close second.

--Everything needs to be alphabetical.

--If unsure whether or not something within a sentence is capitalized, I have to capitalize every letter of every word.

-Colors/Patterns

--Blue, Purple, Black are the best.

--Orange makes me nervous.

--Camouflage, Plaid are the best patterns.

--Line patterns only work if they are symmetrical. Same with polka dots.

-Symmetry

--Houses have to be symmetrical vertically. (Doors/windows have to be centered on each floor).

--Houses cannot have 8 windows (4 top, 4 bottom), even if they are symmetrical. (see numbers section)

--Houses can have their "folding point" on a diagonal corner (like a porch), but the sides HAVE TO MATCH UP.

--Everything has to be symmetrical around the focal point. (ex. kitchen sink is center, so have to have a equal "balance" of things around it).

--If things are uneven in height, it has to be ordered from smallest to largest.

-Other

--Have to rub fingers together when I pick something up that doesn't belong to me.

--Have to sniff things that don't need sniffed. Unless it's food that *might* be spoiled-- then I avoid sniffing at all costs.

--Before I flush, I have to wipe the seat off. After I flush, I have to leave the bathroom stall (in public restrooms) and immediately sprint to the sink, so I can leave quickly if the toilet decides to overflow.

--When at home/friend's houses, I have to wipe the seat off before I flush, then when I flush I have to watch and make sure the toilet water goes down all the way.

--When I have access to gloves, I change them obsessively.

--Have to open foiled/wrapped candy without tearing wrapper. Then have to either flatten perfectly, fold into neat square or make a origami crane out of it.

--I make lists and redo them a ridiculous amount of times.

--Every cleaning chemical has to be lemon scented.

--I will not consume any milk product that is one day away from its expiration.

--If my knife cuts against a fork, I HAVE to get a new fork and knife.

--I can't wash dishes if bubbles are floating in the air (from the soap). I feel suffocated and start to panic.

--If foods are in a spiral format, I have to eat my way to the center of the spiral starting at the "loose" end.